Things I Have Done Since I Wrote Last

Shit That's Happened:

1) I moved out of The Velociraptor's House of Horrors

1a) Huge drama
1b) Stockholm Syndrome
1c) Fully fucking over it now

2) I moved into my mother's House on the Hill

2a) Officially a pathetic cliche` now
2b) Literally staying in the basement
2c) MOST ASSUREDLY TEMPORARILY, INDEED

3) I have been working seven days a week

3a) At points literally 24 hours straight
3b) Juggling three different jobs
3c) With zero time to keep up the diary I just resurrected

4) I turned 40 years old on Monday

4a) NO
4b) FUCKING
4c) COMMENT

5) I got pulled over by the cops

5a) The light was yellow when I went through the intersection
5b) Colorblind cops should not be allowed on the force
5c) Driver's licenses apparently get suspended for ticket scofflaws
5d)HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISDEMEANOR,FROM THE AUBURN PD!!!!!

6) I've already paid off some bills

6a) $185.00 to Traffic Court (Includes $35 scofflaw penalty)
6b) $810.40 to Tar-jhay
6c) $411.16 to Pier 0ne
6d) $269.57 balance Geic0 policy

7) I seem to still have ridiculous debt yet to pay off

7a) Before my assets are frozen, and wages are garnished
7b) Stone deaf lawyers shouldn't be allowed to the Bar
7c) Finance charges and interest are the syphilis and gonorrhea of the credit world

8) I finally obtained a Post Office Box

8a) Five changes of address in two years
8b) "Marco!" "Polo!" "Marco!!" "Polo!!" "MARCO!!!" "POLO!!!" "MOTHERFUCKING MARCO...!!!!"
8c) Creditors rather vociferously insist on a physical address
8d) Collectors don't deem the coordinates of 0nondaga Lake acceptable, or remotely amusing

9) I'm the proud owner/rescuer of two new hamsters

9a) Moot is a jackoff for never allowing them out of the cage in two years
9b) Children utterly lose interest in [biting] pets they never interact with
9c) Hamsters are TOTALLY VERBOTEN in House on the Hill
9d) The care/boarding of temporarily homeless hamsters runs about $35 per week, courtesy of a local pet shop

10) I have to end this list on an even number, despite having run out of news

10a) It will make me twitchy, and nuts, if I don't
10b) Yeah... Just a touch OCD, there
10c) Shut up and deal with it

Anyway. Despite the fact I may be scarce around here anymore, I will concertedly endeavor to update more frequently. Swear to G0d, hope to die! Daily! (The, uh, hoping to die part- not daily updating. Sorry.)

It isn't you. It's me.

We've just gone in different directions.

Time and distance are the antithesis of something, and something else.

There's no one else, I swear.

We could still be friends???