It has been one month, to the day, since my whirlwind return to good old Vanillus, New York.

[Interesting aside: In Mid-October 2007, I moved two-and-a-half hours south of here, to (in no small part) place a mid-divorce buffer of time and distance between Moot and yours truly. A skotch over one year later, I find myself living literally two minutes away from him. Not kidding. The Gods, they cackle and MOCK.]

[Aside about the aside: Ever notice how these asides tend to make for clunky, graceless subject segues where none would have been necessary, had the writer merely omitted said aside?

Yeah... me either!!!]

*CLUNK*

... Ever since the ticker tape parade, and fortnight of myriad posh galas thrown in honor of my return, I've been focused on the excruciatingly mundane task of obtaining gainful employment.

Wait- that's not entirely accurate. Very technically, I am currently employed. Lemme 'splain, Lucy:

For the three months prior to The Harsh Uprooting, I had been working as a Home Health Aide. I wish I could say I was the fancy-schmancy (Trumpet fanfare) CERTIFIED (Fanfare fin) echelon of HHA, but considering that involves *squick, shudder* personal care *shiver*, wellllllllll ho-oooooookayNOthnxBYE. *douche chills*

I was merely a Housekeeper/Companion. To wit: Light cleaning, errands, and "sitting". The sitting was the best part, to me. Hours on hours on hours of companionship duty in hospitals, sitting those on suicide watch/drug-and-or-alcohol withdrawal, or with dementia. Whereas all the other aides considered such a stint to be unadulterated tedium, I reveled in all the assignments to be begged or borrowed.

I digress.

Given the fact the agency Downstate had a sister-agency office near Vanillus, I hied myself there the first Monday morning after my return. After filling out paperwork, and a mandatory four hour orientation/inservice, I was good to go.

Only, they had no assignments readily available for a(n) HHA. A CHHA, sure! A CNA, even better! To make matters worse, they had zero sitting contracts with area hospitals, because they "do not par with Medic@id". It became clear I would need to hedge my bets, in case an assignment was not soon forthcoming.

To that end, I:

* Reinstated a former private cleaning client, while simultaneously acquiring a new one.

* Placed an application at a well-known discount grocery chain, only to find they "decided to go with other applicants".

* Asked after applications with a high-profile regional grocery chain, a well-known discount homegoods chain, and a super high-profile big box store; only to be informed they were under hiring freezes.

* Applied to, and registered with, a local Nanny agency. That has yielded one interview so far, with a late-30s female college professor, who has an eighteen month old son. I will find out if I've been selected on Friday.

* Answered a newspaper ad for childcare for a special needs child. That yielded an interview with the parents of a 15 year old boy who has autism. The son is verbal, makes eye contact, and does not shy away from touch. The father is a dentist, not sure what the mother does. There are also two younger siblings, a boy and a girl, both sans autism. I will find out if I've been selected on Friday.

* Placed an advert offering housecleaning/organization, in the community newsletter of an upscale retirement complex. The ad has not yielded a solitary call since the newsletter came out. Who knows if anyone will contact me, or not. I plan to run the ad again in January, to give it time. If no nibbles, I'll cast my advert into a different pond.

* Threatened to go be an exotic dancer, if none of these job avenues pan out. Ma said what scares her the most is knowing the threat is only half in jest. The boomerang threat of being disowned is keeping me fully clothed.

In the meanwhile, there's enough drama and chaos swirling around here to prevent me from twirling around a pole, even if I wanted to. One half is not fit for public disclosure, so it's safe to presume Hot Mess is at the epicenter. The other half is still raging, with a possible resolution tomorrow. I'd go into specifics, but when The Velociraptor is the culprit, there's no such thing as succinct.

But hey!! There's a spandy new comments area for you all to muck about in. The kitty pic is there to add a bit of color, and despotic whimsy to the proceedings, whilst my D-Land membership remains at the plebian level. Damn Andrew the Man. Lastly, there's sure to be other snips and snails of terrific fun to come, madcap as your Serena tends to be.

Right now, it's off to Nod for me. The sooner that, the sooner to immediately wonder "What fresh hell is this?*", on awakening AGAIN.

Bah. Habits are murder to break.

*- Quote credited to Dorothy Parker